Tips for dealing with loneliness over the holidays
Emma Stringer
Humans as social beings
Human beings are a social species, driven by a need for community and belonging. We like and need to get together with family, friends, and like-minded acquaintances (such as are found in a community choir or book club) or even strangers (think of a crowd of football fans at the MCG). These associations enrich our lives by creating, maintaining and strengthening social ties that are of mutual benefit and support.
Most people are instinctively aware that face-to-face social contact is an important and enjoyable part of our lives. Being able to gather socially was something we (quite reasonably) took for granted, until a time came early in 2020 when we were no longer able to do so.
Along came COVID-19…
For many people around the world, the arrival of the COVID-19 pandemic signalled the end (at least temporarily) of non-essential in-person gatherings. People were required to stay at home during numerous and often lengthy “lockdowns” and were only permitted to leave home for very limited reasons. This physical distancing had the potential to lead to an increase in feelings of social isolation, depression, and loneliness, particularly for people living alone and/or in isolated locations.
Technology to the rescue?
In addition to being a social species, humans are also remarkably adaptable and resilient. While most of us could not meet in person, we found that we could still “get together” with the aid of technology.
People familiar with technology were able to “pivot” relatively quickly and easily to stay connected with family and friends. For others, it was necessary to embark upon a rather “steep learning curve” in order to learn how to use the various devices that enabled them to remain connected with others.
People in lockdown became adept at using their devices to connect over Zoom, through email, and via social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. As Peter Corbett from Deloitte observed: “A lasting legacy of this pandemic will be a greater awareness of the preciousness of human-to-human contact – whatever form it takes. This focus on connection is likely to persist, along with the technology and devices that make it possible.”
A light at the end of the tunnel?
At the time of writing this blog post (April 2022), most of Australia has relaxed the restrictions imposed by various levels of government to minimise the spread of COVID-19. Lockdowns are said to be “a thing of the past”, and many people are returning to their pre-pandemic activities.
Other people, however, have not been so quick to emerge from the relative safety of their homes. There is still a high level of anxiety about the virus, particularly among more vulnerable sections of the community. For these people who feel the need to continue to stay at home, the risk of isolation and loneliness remains real and could persist for some time.
For some people, of course, “getting out and about” has never been an option, even before the pandemic. People with physical and intellectual disabilities often have limited mobility or other barriers that prevent them from participating in social, face-to-face activities. These people can also become socially isolated unless some alternative means of connection with the outside world can be made available to them.
The Good News - Online communities are here to stay
For people who are unwilling or unable to get together with others face-to-face, there is a “world” of online communities from which to choose. Here are a few suggestions to begin with:
Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups) and Meetup (meetup.com) are the biggest online platforms for social and special interest groups, and, for those who are new to online communities, are relatively easy to use.
In addition, there are hundreds of smaller online communities to choose from. Most not-for-profit organisations provide online support groups and/or discussion forums that connect people in similar circumstances. Some examples include:
Cancer Council (https://www.cancer.org.au/online-resources/cancer-council-online-community)
Chronic Pain Australia (chronicpainaustralia.org.au/forum)
Emerge Australia (ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome support organisation) (https://community.emerge.org.au)
Epilepsy Action Australia (https://www.epilepsy.org.au/how-we-can-help/online-communities)
Lung Foundation Australia (https://lungfoundation.com.au/patients-carers/support-services/peer-support/online-support-groups)
Mind Australia (mindaustralia.saneforums.org)
… and this is just the tip of the iceberg! With a bit of “googling” and following the leads that come up, most people should be able to find an online community that can help them to feel more connected and less isolated.
Conclusions
Like most things, technology can be used in both positive and negative ways. While online interactions should not be prioritised over face-to-face human contact, they are convenient and effective as an alternative when in-person contact is either not possible or not desired. Ultimately, online communities (like all other forms of technology) can be seen as a means to an end, a “tool” to be used to improve our quality of life when help is most needed.
